Sabotage Your Self-Sabotage


हमको मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करें

दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करें

This is a prayer song from a Hindi film and is an invocation to God to:

Give our mind strength, Give victory to our minds
Before we cheer the victory of others, make ourselves victorious.

Until recently I thought ‘Wow, that’s a very selfish prayer’!  How can you ask for yourself before you ask something for others, that too Victory?

Then I read The Mahabharata by my favourite author, Dr Devdutt Pattanaik. He has summarised the essence of this great epic by saying that there is a difference between ‘Vijaya’ and ‘Jaya’. At the end of the Great War in Mahabharata, The Kauravas were sent to Heaven despite of all their wrong doings and The Pandavas were sent to Hell despite being the Heroes. When Yudhishtira shows anger at not being victorious by defeating the bad ones, he is led by the Devas to understand the reasons why it was so. Only when Yudhishtira realises and overcomes his ego and prejudices, does he and his family secure a place in Heaven and achieve Jaya.

Victory over others is called ‘Vijaya’ but victory over self is called ‘Jaya’.  For us to achieve the strength to fight with what we believe are all the wrong doings in this world, we must conquer the wrong doing in ourselves first.  I too have come to realise that the greatest war to take place is the one within us, it’s ‘I’ versus ‘I. The result is Self-sabotage. To sabotage is to destroy and when its self-sabotage, what are you destroying? Your self worth.

The voices within our minds keep chattering but somehow the negative voices are louder than the positive ones. ‘I am worthless’, ‘My partner doesn’t love me as much’, ‘My boss must not like me’, ‘I am not a good parent’, ‘I am fat’, ‘I can never be good enough for her’ and on and on. If we really think about it, these are snippets of conversations we have with ourselves. No one really says these words to us. And even if someone says something to this effect, why is it the only thing that remains in our mind. What about all the good things within us? Why are we not able to pay attention to them? It’s because the positives remain in our unconscious mind and we haven’t worked hard enough for them to manifest in our conscious mind.

It’s as if there is a Tug of War between the Conscious and the Unconscious.  When we are looking for negatives around us, we are quick to judge and criticise. Then we wait for our turn to be criticised and an unconscious pattern is established. If it doesn’t happen, we reinforce this ourselves. The force of this vicious orbit alienates us from ourselves and then the point of self-hatred is never too far. Our positives on the other hand, are sleeping comfortable in the caves of our own hearts not ready to fight their way through.

The ‘Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, talks about the law of attraction.  It reiterates the old adage that  ‘You become your thoughts’. One of the prime factors for Law of attraction to work is to take care of yourself first. That begins with self-awareness and loving oneself. When you have spent your entire life worrying about money, a million pounds turn up tomorrow and you are too ill to spend it what’s the point? Or you have been dreaming of a perfect relationship and it turns up on your doorstep but you are not ready to have a healthy relationship, it’s of no use to you.

I too strongly believe in Self-fulfilling prophecies. I have begun using this law to keep positive first and foremost. If a negative thought or situation arises, I leave that space physically. Just a change in space makes me deal with negativity calmly.

Start with the basics. Nourish yourself from within. Eat well, breathe well, get enough sleep, get some fresh air, read more, do whatever you enjoy without feeling guilty. 🙂

Our true nature is to achieve bliss, consciously. There is a beautiful word in Sanskrit called ‘Sachchidanand’. If we break up the compound of this word, it’s Sat-Chid-Ananda = Truth-Consciousness-Bliss.  In reality though, they are not separate. One cannot exist without the other. When we see ourselves in this state, we can appreciate the pure undifferentiated state of non-duality and leave behind the world of opposites, of dualities, of double standards.

It is said that only the highest beings achieve this state. But to reach there the journey needs to begin today. This journey is gradual, but the realisation is sudden. It just needs to click in to your mind.

Look for only positives in yourself and others today. Let me know how it goes for you.


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